He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother
by TheFABFive2015
Summary: TAG 2015. A four part character study, kindly inspired by Sailor Centauri. Aspects of Scott, as seen through the eyes of his brothers.
1. Chapter 1 - John

Yes, I'm back again, with another story kindly inspired by Sailor Centauri.

This will be made up of four chapters, each featuring the thoughts of John, Virgil, Gordon and Alan as they watch Scott take on the running of International Rescue.

I really hope you enjoy this, and thanks again to Sailor for yet another great idea!

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He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother

Chapter One - John

For so many reasons - yes, I feel guilty. I'm tormented by the questions I ask myself every night, every morning - and so many times in between.

 _'How could I let this happen? With the best rescue systems in the world, why can't I find him? Why didn't I hear my own father's cry for help_?'

Scott's refusal to accept any of my apologies, or to apportion any kind of blame, only makes me feel worse. So does the isolation that I love, for the peace and tranqulility it gives me, but sometimes hate too, in equal measure. At times when he needs me the most, I am so far away from him.

I can never tell him, though. I can only hope that its weight on my conscience stays hidden behind my smile of humouring gratitude.

Sometimes, though, when he catches me off my guard - yes, deep down, I'm sure he knows. That's when I'll see the meaning of true love and loyalty, written through his eyes. Whether in real life, or his holographic equivalent, Scott sees everything. Feels everything. Carries... everything.

He bears my burden of guilt, and anger, and fear, and helplessness. Mine, and everyone else's. Virgil's. Gordon's. Alan's. And he never complains.

Never.

But, see, that's Scott. The big brother who sacrificed his childhood so that the rest of us - me, Virgil, Gordon, and Alan - could still enjoy ours. From the tragedy that tore our family apart, he somehow found the strength to keep going. Keep all of us going, from dad and Grandma, right through to the baby brother who'll never know his mother. Who, thank God, was too young then, to realize how horrifically she'd died. Who'll never suffer the survivor's guilt that so nearly tore Virgil away from us too. Who'll never understand why we'll all go to our own deaths if it keeps _him_ safe.

For all the Fates that might be listening in on this, please - _please_ \- don't _ever_ put us in that position. I'm sorry to sound so selfish, but... well, we've had our share of tragedy and loss. Please don't put us through any more.

To watch him now, taking on our father's dream as yet another load of responsibility, I can only marvel at how he does it. Wonder how much more he can take onto those already burdened shoulders. He's like one of those plate-spinners you'd see at an old circus - running up and down his line of poles, keeping them moving in a constant fight between human skill and unchangeable physics.

And yes, sometimes the laws of physics win. When a rescue hits a snag, or if someone endangers my brothers unnecessarily, or questions Alan's abilities - yes, a plate _does_ fall, and break.

If just for a second, we'll hear Scott's voice break too, with emotions he fights so hard to keep hidden. In just that fraction of time, it reminds us all how fragile he is himself. That without our help, and support, and the bonds that keep us together, he, too, will fall. He, too, will break. And none of us can bear the thought of picking up the pieces. Because if Scott breaks, it will be impossible to put him back together.

So yes, from this legacy of our father's dream, I'll keep watch over not just the planet below me, but my own private world within it. My big brother might be the head of International Rescue until our father is found - but I will always be the little brother who watches over him.

Always.


	2. Chapter 2 - Virgil

Oooh, thank you for these first reviews! I haven't written anything quite like this before, so I really appreciate your comments :o)

Okay, here's Virgil's thoughts on Scott, and the special bond they've always seemed to share. I hope you enjoy it!

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He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother

Chapter Two - Virgil

Some people say we have a special connection. Not just the bond that all brothers have, but... well, something I can't really explain. It's a bit like a psychic thing, you know? Like a gut feeling, when you just know something isn't quite right.

But in our case, it's stronger. And it isn't just a feeling that goes away when its cause has been identified, and either faced or ignored. For me and Scott, it's always there. It never goes away. When Scott's in danger, or trouble, or - hell, if he's just having one of those days... yeah, I'm always the first to know it.

John would say it's humanised physics at work. That the calmest member of the family will just be naturally drawn to the most impulsive. If that's the case - yeah, I'd have to agree with him. If Scott's the one whose emotions can go on a wild stampede, I guess I'm the little ol' cowboy who has the ability to rein them in.

More than ever now, those reins are getting a whole lotta use. Since taking dad's place as head of International Rescue, I've seen my eldest brother at his best. Reaching each disaster first, using that military mindset of his to identify its dangers. Make decisions. Get things moving, keep things under control until the rest of us get there.

And sorry if I sound like a hopelessly proud little brother right now, but he gets it right. Well, most of the time. By anyone's standards, hitting the mark like that for ninety nine point nine nine percent of the time is pretty damn good.

But it's that pesky little point oh-one percent that I have to worry about. Those rare but humanly inevitable times, when I see him at his worst. When he makes the wrong call, or rushes into action without thinking things through, that this special connection between us is needed the most. When I see him at his worst, I know the place I need to be is right by his side. The quicker, the better.

If we're lucky, I'll be with him already. There to calm him down, by whatever means I need to use. Never words of criticism, but quiet ones of reason. If I can, a teasing joke to make him relax again, and smile along with me. Or, when needs must, I'll haul him physically away from whatever's triggered his temper.

And Scott _does_ have a temper. Dad always said that, when John and I were born, our 'Tracy hothead' gene somehow transferred themselves to him. If you imagine all the explosives in the world, kept inside a human keg - yep, that's Scott. And luckily, he doesn't blow too often, but when he does - look out, world, and run for cover.

To be fair, I didn't see too much of it while I was growing up. Like John, I was 'the quiet one.' Any arguments that did take place were usually between Scott and dad. Those dumb little things, that you never really understand when you're a kid - like getting Alan to bed on time, or trying to keep Gordon out of trouble.

To be honest, I never really got it then, but - hell, yes, I get it now. With dad gone, Scott isn't just our big brother any more, he's had to take on surrogate fatherhood too. A tough gig for any parent, let alone one who's still so damn young himself, but... well, what other choice does he have?

Yes, of course John and I can help him out, if just to keep the Terrible Twins in line, or just help Alan along with his studies, but... no. For so much of the time, and even more now as head of International Rescue, the biggest big brother on the planet now has the safety of that planet weighing down on his shoulders.

So yes, more so than ever now, it's up to me to defuse that temper, before it explodes, and... well, makes my brother say or do something that _all_ of us would regret.

If we're at a rescue site, we'll always talk it out before we leave, because - well, both of us know how cruel and ruthless Fate can be. That you can fling out words of thoughtless anger at someone you love, more than life itself - and never get the chance to tell them you're sorry.

Or sometimes, he'll just need to find me for a quiet chat, just to talk things over, and... uh oh.

He's back from that solo mission. And from his face alone, my paintbrush is down, and I'm striding towards him before he even opens his mouth.

"Hey, Virg? You, uh... got a minute?"

My arms are around him already, trying to ease that weight from his shoulders as I lead him to the couch. As I brush the hair back from his exhausted eyes, and let him lean on me, while I tell him what he needs so much to hear.

"For you, Scooter, I've got all the time in the world."


	3. Chapter 3 - Gordon

Okay, folks, Gordon's next!

Thanks again for all your kind comments, and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter!

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He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother

Chapter Three - Gordon

Apparently - and no, don't ask me why - I'm the family joker. The kid who makes everyone laugh, and... hey, if that's the gig my brothers want to hang on me, that's fine by me. I mean, far better to make someone laugh than make them cry, right? And my family's had its share of tears already. Enough to last all our lifetimes.

So yeah, I guess you could say I'm kinda good at turning a frown upside down. And in our line of work, that's pretty important. When you put your life on the line as much as we do, the most vital piece of equipment you need to take with you is your sense of humour.

Luckily, we all have them, although... well, some days, they do take a bit of a hammering. And the first one who usually feels it the most is Scott.

Not that he's grumpy, or miserable. I mean, he's just ten years older than me - not exactly grumpy grandpa material. But, see, he just has an awful lot on his plate. Running International Rescue, looking after us, keeping us safe, and keeping up our dad's work on Tracy Industries - well, it takes a lot out of him. When you give as much as he does, it's only fair that the people who love him the most, and owe him so much, should pay him back in return.

And we do, of course we do. John helps him organize things from Thunderbird Five, while Virgil, Alan and I do our best to get the job done. But sometimes, you know, I wonder if that's enough. I mean, we're all just kids still. Alan isn't even out of school yet, and Scott... well, Scott's still at that age when you're meant to be out there enjoying yourself. Finding your own place in the world, making your own way through it. Living your own dreams, and... well, yeah, when you're the eldest son of Jeff Tracy, I guess that was never gonna happen.

For us, of course, it was different. At least John got to go to NASA, and Virgil to college, and me to the Olympics and WASP, but... no, for Scott, it's always been duty first, dreams much later. The one dream he _did_ have, making it into the Air Force - yeah, even that had to be put aside when dad's took its place.

Yeah, making our dad's dream a reality hasn't been easy. We've all had to make sacrifices to make it happen. But sometimes, y'know? I think Scott has sacrificed more than all of us put together. And sometimes - yeah, it kinda shows.

Oh, he'll joke around like the rest of us. Chase me and Alan round the pool, grab Alan for a bit of a wrestle, or put itching powder in Virgil's socks. He'll even pretend he doesn't know who put cocoa in the coffee machine, or salt in the sugar bowl, or all those plastic spiders in Virgil's shower. He'll just roll his eyes, shake his head, then look at me like only he can, and remind me I'm not too old now to be sent to my room.

But he doesn't smile, or laugh quite the way we do, 'cos... well, I guess he just can't. Not any more, not like he used to. When you're a stand-in dad, _and_ a big brother, _and_ the head of the best rescue team in the world - yeah, I guess that changes you. You need to put on a brave face, and just keep going - even if it means shutting off the one thing that's going to help you get through it.

So yeah, I guess I need to step in sometimes, and help my big brother remember how it feels to laugh, to just kick back, and be a kid again, and -

" _GOOOORR-DDDONNN_!"

Uh-oh. Guess he's fallen for the old salt-in-the-sugar-bowl trick. But don't worry, he'll see the funny side, and get me back. Eventually. And maybe, when we finally find our dad and bring him home, I'll see him _really_ laugh - the way he used to.


	4. Chapter 4 - Alan

And last, but by no means least, here's Alan's thoughts on his biggest big brother.

Thanks again for joining me in this story, and special thanks to Sailor, for inspiring me to write it. I hope I've done it justice for you.

Enjoy, and hope to see you all soon.

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He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother

Chapter Four - Alan

I guess it's a kid brother thing, to look up to your elders, but... hey, in my case, it's _really_ up. I mean, up and up. Because Scott isn't just my big brother, he's my BIG big brother.

Seriously, he's huge. I know everyone keeps saying when my height gene finally kicks in, I'll be as tall as him, maybe even taller. But much as I like the thought of sending him to _his_ room, instead of him sending me to mine, I kinda hope that doesn't happen. In my eyes, he'll always be at a height I can never reach.

Hey, does it sound like I've put him on the biggest pedestal here? Like he's some kind of superhero? Well, yeah, I have. And yeah, he is. I mean, how many big brothers can say they've pretty much raised four younger brothers, _and_ made Captain in the Air Force, _and_ taken over the best, most respected rescue team in the world? Yeah, you've got it. Just one.

Just one big brother _. My_ big brother.

And yeah, I know I drive him crazy sometimes, with all my ideas for helping out with rescues, and wanting to tag along with him, or Virgil, or Gordon, or... well, just _any_ of them. I know he wants me to concentrate more on my lessons, make sure I get as good an education as John did, because... well, I guess in a way, that's something he regrets missing out on himself.

Hey, don't get me wrong, Scott's smart, he's _real_ smart. He has to be, to make all those decisions he needs to when he goes out on a call. But sometimes I think he kinda wishes he'd had the chance to go to college, like Virgil did, or NASA, like John, and find a way to show just how smart he is. I guess when you're the eldest, and you have so many duties to live up to, something like that has... well, just gotta give way.

He'll never say it, of course, but I think I see it sometimes. When John's explaining something to him, and he glances across at me - yeah, I'm sure that smile is his way of telling me to take my studies more seriously. To follow John's example, and get to be as smart as he is. I guess you never know when something you learn in science class, or math class, or history class, might just help you save the world.

Because that's what we do now. We're International Rescue, we take on the impossible every day, and... well, from what I've heard through the family grapevine, I make it all look so easy.

Yeah, I know. I can't believe it either.

But whether I believe it or not, I can't do it alone. I can only do it with my brothers around to help me. And while John's the family brainiac, it's Scott who's teaching me so much more. What it takes to grow from an over eager kid who thinks he knows it all to an adult who has the sense to realize he never will. That however smart you are, or _think_ you are, you'll never stop learning.

And Scott? Well, he's still learning too. Learning to be something he'd never expected to be. Or maybe even wanted to.

I don't know that last bit for sure, because... well, he doesn't really talk about it too much. Dad's disappearance has really shaken all of us, but Scott... well, as the eldest, he's gotta feel it the most. I know he doesn't want any of us to see it, but I know, we _all_ know, how much it hurts him. I know more than anything else in the world, he hopes the next call John gets on Thunderbird Five will be our own father, trying to tell us where he is, so we can find him, and bring him home.

But until that call comes in, he just has to keep doing what he does best. Saving the world, and taking care of us - one day at a time.

And me? Well, I'll just keep growing, and watching, and learning. Find my own place in a world that's just so much safer for having my big brother there to protect it. But, yeah, there's times I just wish I could do more. That I was bigger, and older, and stronger than I am now, so I could just help make it that little bit easier for him.

That's him coming home again now, from where he's been sealing an oil fire in Dubai. He's tired, dirty, and looks about ready to drop. But then he sees me, and he seems to come alive again. All that tiredness seems to disappear as he holds out his arms, and swallows me into a massive hug.

"Hey, you little rug rat... so, how's your day been?"

In Scott-speak - have you finished your lessons? And just to give him one less thing to worry about, I grin back and tell him everything I've learned about Newton's laws of motion as he sits down on the couch, and snuggles me against him.

Safe and protected, I look up at him and smile back at everything I'll ever hope I'll become. My teacher. My protector. My hero.

My brother. My friend.


End file.
